Thursday, January 19, 2012
So im not the greatest example...
Last night I went back to an old habit. A terrible one. I mean I haven't done this in two years, but all it took for me to go back was a little push. I was closer to going back than I thought. It hurt, but it was okay. I wish i hadnt done it, but thats the past now..
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
That moment when...
You give someone your everything, and all you get in return is a backstab. I hate everyone.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
I Hate Movies
They make you expect this amazing life, with amazing friends, and this amazing love life, and friendships that last a life time.
But its all false. It's all fake. you get your hopes up, and you put your trust in people, and you give your heart away, and then.. nothing happens.
THATS the reason girls watch sappy love movies. Not because they're cute, but because it's the life we wish we had.
I have an old friend. I've mentioned him in a couple of blog posts. The reason I'm so "jghxjkn" tonight is that... well.. tonight I watched the movie One Day. It shows a friendship between a girl and boy over the span of 20 years. Jut like any friendship they had ups and downs. Eventually they got married and they were beyond in love! I won't ruin the en for anyone that hasn't seen it. Anyways so this movie made me think about m friend Oscar. This time last year we were SO close and now... We walk by each other in the hallway avoiding eye contact and not speaking. Which sucks, a lot. Let me rewind a few weeks and tell you everything.
Winter break started three weeks ago. On the 20th of December I reached out Toni to see if we could try being friends. He basically told me he wouldn't care enough to give effort. He blew me off and it sucked but I took it like a big girl and tried not honking about him or what he had just done. Then, a few dys later, maybe a week, he contacts me trying to get rid of our "awkwardness". He blame it on both of us as if I hadnt tried to not get the that. So this time around it was me blowin him off. It wa so hard for me to not say " yes let's be friends again" but I knew that if I had said that, it would just prove to him that I do "need" him in my life still. And I dont, and I need him to understand that. Since then we haven't talked much, we've had many "awkward" encounters though. What makes matters worse, is that my frienddylan, who I'm very close to at the time, is oscars best friend. Its hard to talk to Dylan because they're always together.
Now back to the movie. I wish oscar and I's friendship was like the one on the movie. I know that's so cliche or whatever but honestly I do. I wish I could still call him when I needed help, or he come to me when he doesn't know what to do. I won't lie and say I don't miss him but I can't say that I wish we never grew apart.
But its all false. It's all fake. you get your hopes up, and you put your trust in people, and you give your heart away, and then.. nothing happens.
THATS the reason girls watch sappy love movies. Not because they're cute, but because it's the life we wish we had.
I have an old friend. I've mentioned him in a couple of blog posts. The reason I'm so "jghxjkn" tonight is that... well.. tonight I watched the movie One Day. It shows a friendship between a girl and boy over the span of 20 years. Jut like any friendship they had ups and downs. Eventually they got married and they were beyond in love! I won't ruin the en for anyone that hasn't seen it. Anyways so this movie made me think about m friend Oscar. This time last year we were SO close and now... We walk by each other in the hallway avoiding eye contact and not speaking. Which sucks, a lot. Let me rewind a few weeks and tell you everything.
Winter break started three weeks ago. On the 20th of December I reached out Toni to see if we could try being friends. He basically told me he wouldn't care enough to give effort. He blew me off and it sucked but I took it like a big girl and tried not honking about him or what he had just done. Then, a few dys later, maybe a week, he contacts me trying to get rid of our "awkwardness". He blame it on both of us as if I hadnt tried to not get the that. So this time around it was me blowin him off. It wa so hard for me to not say " yes let's be friends again" but I knew that if I had said that, it would just prove to him that I do "need" him in my life still. And I dont, and I need him to understand that. Since then we haven't talked much, we've had many "awkward" encounters though. What makes matters worse, is that my frienddylan, who I'm very close to at the time, is oscars best friend. Its hard to talk to Dylan because they're always together.
Now back to the movie. I wish oscar and I's friendship was like the one on the movie. I know that's so cliche or whatever but honestly I do. I wish I could still call him when I needed help, or he come to me when he doesn't know what to do. I won't lie and say I don't miss him but I can't say that I wish we never grew apart.
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